Lessons Learned: Open Mouth Insert Foot

Today BitchNichole realized just in time that she had a follow up visit with Dr.GodMD to discuss her fatigue. She was in such a rush to get out the door that she grabbed the closest book without really looking at what she was grabbing for.

When she arrived to the office she checked in and found a seat where she could settle down to enjoy her book while she waited for the next available room. However, before she grabbed for the mystery book hidden away in her purse she quickly glanced around the room at the pictures of Jesus assisting doctors in various types of surgury and gynocological exams. She silently giggled at the thought of kooky Christians.

She then reached into her purse and turned to a random page in the book that she had brought along to keep her company during her wait. It was at this time the the diva realized that she had made a mistake in her grab while leaving the house as she read a story about a young woman working for nuns in order to raise money to pay for an abortion. It was at this time the the diva's name was called. At this BitchNichole stood up, readjusted her abstinence ring and moved toward the exam rooms.

After telling three nurses and medical students her life story the diva was left alone in the room and once again pulled out the devil book. As she read a very detailed description of oral sex Dr.GodMD entered the room and glanced down at the diva's book. With a red face BitchNichole slammed the book and continued with the examination with the feeling that Dr.GodMD could now see her for the sinner that she was.

After the examination was over BitchNichole exited for the waiting room where Dr.GodMD's assistant would give her a schedule for her upcoming sleep study. As soon as the welsh goddess laid eyes upon the assistant she recognozed the woman as her fourth grade teacher assistant and mother of a childhood friend. BitchNichole immediately stood up and hugged the woman and asked how her former friend was doing. To this the assistant replied that she was pregnant.

Now the diva is still living in a time when being pregnant is no where near a good thing. After having embarrassed herself recently by sharing her condolences on an apparently planned pregnancy the diva just stood staring at the assistant for a good 30 seconds before the woman replied that the friend had been married for over a year and already had a nine-year-old step daughter.

At this news the diva didn't know how to react so she settled for simply patting the assistant on the back and saying "Now you're scaring me."

Presently the welsh goddess has yet to find out the time and date of her sleep study.

Lessons Learned: Don't Make a Ruling Until You Get the Facts

Last night BitchNichole accompanied SheRa and TheHorse to karaoke at Hilltop.

Immediately upon entering the welsh diva turned to examine the bar and locked eyes with a young gentleman that she used to make out with on a somewhat regular basis in high school.

As soon as she saw the boy that she totally wanted to date in the past she thought to herself about what a loser he was chilling at the local bar, hitting on the townies, and still requesting Drop Kick Murpheys "wow," she thought to herself, "he hasn't changed one bit, I am so lucky that he turned me down back in the day."

The night went on with plenty of singing and interesting people watching until the diva ran into an old friend that explained that she was there for a class reunion.

After connecting the two clues she realized that the old kissing partner probably doesn't even live in T-Town anymore and it was the diva that actually came off as looking like a fool by crashing the reunion.

Lessons Learned: Back in the Game

The diva was slightly embarrassed, but extremely giddy, earlier this week when she found a comment that had been posted on her blog by the talented and dreamy Jonathan Ames apologizing because he had never recieved an email from the diva.

As a result the diva would like to retract her statement of being heartbroken by the author. Jonthan Ames is good to his fans and the diva would like to suggest that her readers go out and support him by making a purchase of any of his books.

She still fully backs John McNally as well.

TheHorse stands behind his earlier statement claiming that "reading makes you go blind," perhaps this is the reason the diva keeps breaking up with him.

Lessons Learned: The Future Mr. BitchNichole

So since BitchNichole has been dealing with a whole lotta ex-boyfriend marriages lately she kinda-sorta been fantasizing about her own special Mr. Welsh Diva who is so specifically put together that he could never possibly exist.

1. The Body of a Young Ralph Macchio

2. The Hair of and Vocal Abilities of Ryan Adams

3. The Face of a Young Johnny Rotten

4. The intellect and Interviewing Powers of Anderson Cooper

5. The humor of Conan O'Brien

6. The poetic genius of Bob Dylan

7. The romance ability of Guy de Maupassant

8. The Artistic Ability of Robert Rauschenberg

9. The Cooking Skills of Bobby Flay

Alright now its trivia time:

Which one of the diva's ex's did she cast a "love spell" on months before they stated getting a bit serious?

Lessons Learned: Embarrassing Moments

Do you ever have those moments where you're e-stalking some one and you realize you made out with the ugly friend.

BitchNichole is now realizing that's a whole like 4 hours of her life that she's never gonna get back. Oh let's be honest... six.

In other news:

So pretty much all of BitchNichole's ex-boyfriends got married this summer and not a single one has put any pictures up. If the diva ever decides she's ready to do the deed herself you can bet your buttom that girl's gonna plaster those pictures everywhere.

She'll definitely want photographic proof when she sobers up the next morning.

Lessons Learned: The New and Improved Kudla

Kudla: So I was driving these women the other day and they were talking about PMS with gay men and I told them I totally know about that I live with two gay men. Then they asked me if I was gay and I said yes.

BitchNichole: You said yes? But your not gay, are you?

Kudla: No, I just wanted to see what it was like.

BitchNichole: How was it?

Kudla: Pretty much the same.