Lessons Learned: That's Not How I Remember It

BitchNichole: I'm so sick of no one around here believing me.

Mom40: You're just like the wolf that called fire too much.

BitchNichole: You mean the boy who cried wolf?

Mom40: Oh, I guess that would make more sense.

Havest Gold Refrigerator 1979-2006

Today, at 12:00 p.m., at the tender age of 27, Harvest Gold Refrigerator was taken off life support at its home in Tonganoxie, KS.

The Refrigerator was purchased by Dad and Mom40 on June 1, 1979 and followed the family through three residents and the birth of three children.

Shortly after it's purchase Harvest Gold began moaning and groaning, awakening the family members and embarrassing the children, until one day in the late 1990's when it just stopped out of nowhere and became mute. The day may or may not have inspired singer/cultural icon Maddonna to cover Don McLean's hit song American Pie.

At the turn of the millenia the light in Harvest Gold proved to be Y2K incompatible leaving the family in darkness during food searches until its overdue death.

Despite the fact that in the last few years of life Harvest Gold had begun both leaking and growing ice in the refrigerator rather than the freezer, it served it's family well throughout the years and will be dearly missed.

Upon making the decision to release Harvest Gold from life support Dad was quoted as saying "I wish I knew someone who needed a refrigerator."

Harvest Gold Refrigerator was proceeded in death by Harvest Gold Rotary Phone, and is survived by Harvest Gold Stove, Harvest Gold Dish Washer, and Harvest Gold Clothes Dryer.

A private service was held for Dad, Mom40, BitchNichole, and two Nebraska Furniture Mart delivery men.

Although no memorial fund has been set up comments containing fond memories may be posted on this blog for anyone wishing to share their thoughts.

Lessons Learned: Welcome to the Present

Ok so many of you may know that the diva has been living in the 90's for the past few months, but today that all changed.

Today BitchNichole got DSL on her home computer... score!

So for those of you that feel that contact with the Welsh goddess has been especially difficult during the last few months you can rest assured she is back in action.

In other news:
Mom40's new refrigerator arrives tomorrow. Goodbye harvest gold! Welcome bisque.

Lessons Learned: Today I Become a Woman

For those of you aware of BitchNichole's slight inner-elbow-phobia, the diva would like to inform you that she did not cry even one tear when she got her blood taken yesterday! Way to go BitchNichole!

Lessons Learned: Quarter Life Crisis Update

After getting that benign cyst removed from her back BitchNichole realized that she is one tough chick. This has made her think that maybe a career as a Roller Girl might be a good route to take.

What do you think? Could the diva cut it as one of these ladies?

Lessons Learned: I'm Not the Kind of Girl Who Gives Up Just Like That

Alright enough with all this heartbreak bullshit already!

For all of you loyal readers that have been aware that BitchNichole has had some dark postings as of lately, our poor little heroine has had her heartbroken not once, but twice in the past four months. She needed a little to bitch and moan and feel sorry for herself, but that's done now.

She decided she needed to get herself out of this funk when during her lunch break today five young men entered FourthStreet and sat at a table with the diva's back facing them.

Upon seeing this Dad looked the young gentlemen over and said, "Now there is a whole group of attractive men and I don't see one wedding ring, maybe you just need a nice Tongie boy." This is mostly humorous because about four years ago he would have completely disagreed with this statement. But I digress...

BitchNichole then looked at the group and realized yeah, hey, she should be making out with a whole bunch of guys. She's only kissed four people all summer long, which is pretty much her worst record ever.

So for all of you out there getting sick of the whole poor me routine... The Bitch is Back!!!

In Other News:

There are some old fun pictures to post from Illinois (DryPink gets nekked and makes out with boys to get the girls, etc.), and WOF (Rollercoaster fun). They will be up soon! Promise!

The Occupied/Vacant sign is gone. Ha!

Lessons Learned: Ouch That Hurts More Than I Expected

Do you ever feel like your life is like that scene from Fear where Reese Witherspoon walks in on Mark Walburg about to rape her friend played by the beautiful and talented Alyssa Milano?

Yeah me neither, I'm just having one of those days, you sick sick jerk. Now I have absolutely no regrets for how I treated you.

Lessons Learned: You Lookin' At Me?

Inspired by a recent situation where BitchNichole felt she was being e-stalked the diva had a conversation with SheRa about whether or not it was creepy to check up on ex's through myspace and other online people connectors.

The conclusion reached stated that yeah it was cool, just don't make a habit out of it.

However this brings up a new question.

Which is better: if the new girlfriend is better or worse looking than you?

If she's better looking then you know he has high expectations and you are on his list of some good looking ladies, but he clearly doesn't miss you because she's hot.

If she's worse looking maybe you're ugly, but he's clearly not doing any better.

Although the diva prefers an ugly girl to follow her she's starting to question that desire.

Lessons Learned: I Need A Muse

BitchNichole sat down to write tonight thinking that all of her experiences of the last few days would have built up a plethura of creativity, and that writing would come way too easily for her as a result.

The diva has recently realized how wrong she was.

She is bored with her environment and bored with the story.

She is in desperate need of a muse.

Does anyone have an idea for an adventure?