Lessons Learned: Overheard in New York

BitchNichole: So yeah if you had a gun you could probably take out a whole bunch of people at once, but I was unlucky so all I got was a heavy blunt object so I had to beat everyone to death. I mean I eventually got a gun off of someone so it all worked out in the end.

Paranoid Woman on Cross Town Bus: (extremely horrified look in diva's direction)...


On that note:
The Science of Sleep has totally been messing with BitchNichole's dreams. Every time PsychoX calls she has another dream about RetardedOverYou... he really needs to stop calling.

Lessons Learned: Was that my "One Phone Call" Officer?

Although she could be accused of overusing the phrase, FunWhenI'mDrunk was right when she recieved the phone call from BitchNichole earlier tonight when all she could say was "sick joke!"

After numerous text messages and missed phone hook ups our heroine, BitchNichole, finally got to have a phone chat with GuidoCop.

However, after speaking for less than ten minutes he asked the diva who her phone service provider was, and when the diva responded his reaction was beyond belief.

"Oh I'm sorry this call is costing me 43 cents a minute so I'm going to have to let you go and call you from another phone tomorrow."

The diva was speechless but since the cents were racking up she agreed that he could call her back later.

After hearing the retelling of this story FunWhenI'mDrunk responded "You're not even worth 43 cents?! That sucks!"

Wow! That was definitely not worth the wait.

And TheHorse quitely rejoices.

Lessons Learned: Crushes are Hard

So BitchNichole is currently in the very beginning stages of like with a too-young-to-be-called-a-man/too-old-to-called-a-boy. And it's driving her nuts.

She's in that early stage of the crush where you check your phone every two and a half hours to make sure that it wasn't on silent and you didn't miss the call. And then you get really mad at yourself for being such a girl. So you sort of start hoping that he won't call because the 3 to 4 hours you spent with him were really awesome and you don't want to ruin it with the whole reality thing.

But then maybe you do want him to call so you won't feel bad about being such a phone call waiting loser. But you want him to be a real jerk because you're on a two-year anti-dating vow and you don't want him to mess it up by being really cool and wanting to spend time with him.

And then you start freaking out about what you're going to say if he actually does call. Like how many times should you let it ring before picking up, should you just let it go to voicemail? How long should the conversation be, and how do you get out of it without sounding like a jerk? What the hell are you going to talk about?

So then you go back and overanalyze what you said to him and what he said to you. Was he really interested or did he give you his number and put you in a cab to get away from you because you were totally weirding him out? Does he even remember you? Should you have kissed him? Did he think that you weren't interested and now he's waiting for you to call because he's thinking these exact same thoughts and checking the phone all the time too?

Why are you spacing out like this at work? What is wrong with you? You're co-workers are probably making fun of you in French but you can't tell because you barely passed French in highschool.

So that's where she is in crush land... her very favorite part of the whole process, where everything is where your mind takes you.