Lessons Learned: Nothing Compares to You

Within the last year BitchNichole as loved exactly three boys: TheHorse, TheUser, and Wig. As she looks back at these three individuals with a slightly broken heart she believes that it is time for a quick lesson on each of the three. She hopes that in doing this she can analyze where she went wrong with all three of them in order to avoid a broken heart in the future.

So let's begin today's lesson with TheHorse.
How they met: The diva met TheHorse at forensics camp when she was 18. They were instant best friends and she immediately knew she could tell him anything. TheHorse spent a lot of time flirting with her which the Welsh Goddess despite strict rules preventing this, but any girl that's ever had the pleasure of meeting TheHorse knows what a ladies man he can be. The first night at camp Figgy and SquirrelAss pulled the diva aside to warn her about how he uses girls. Looking back on this makes the diva giggle.

The First Date: At the first speechie party of the year TheHorse and BitchNichole sneaked out of the shindig (that was occurring at his house by the way) to go dancing at TheShack. A terrible first date due to the fact that neither one of them have any rhythm whatsoever.

The First Kiss: New Student Days at HC always involves a crazy speaker, someone motivational to help the freshmen through their first semester. After the speech TheHorse was waiting outside the chapel. It would appear that he was waiting for the diva, but there was free pizza at this event which was more likely what had gotten his attention. Afterwards he and the diva went for a walk in Heartwell park and had their first kiss on that bridge that walks out onto that little island where people like to get married.

It Became Official When...: TheHorse never really wanted to call BitchNichole his girlfriend because he was working on a broken heart at the time. After a speechie Christmas party the diva pulled him aside to tell him that if he didn't want to be her boyfriend they wouldn't be able to make out anymore. And since she has kisses worth fighting for TheHorse went home to discuss the ultimatum with PrincessMike and FatDarren. A few hours later he came back and told her he would be her boyfriend.

The First I Love You: On Christmas Eve he left the diva a voice mail which said he loved her "and stuff". She wasn't going to settle for this so when he called her later that night she told him she never got a voicemail so he had to say it again to which she replied "I got the voicemail, I just wanted to hear it again."

The Breakup: This has happened so many times it's hard to pick one. But he will always be her first love and best friend. There is a special place in the diva's heart that will always serve as a home for TheHorse.

The next love unfortunately lies on the shoulders of TheUser.
How they met: The diva was ready to start a band her freshman year. In a class someone said their roommate was an awesome guitar player. She went to his dorm and he wasn't home so she left a note. In front of her dorm she saw a boy that was so stereotypically her type she had to go talk to him. After chatting for awhile she found out he was the roommate she had just heard about. She was smitten and wanted to find other ways to get his attention.

The First Date: An exboyfriend of the diva was going to be competing at skateboard competition that the Welsh Goddess was going to be judging. Not wanting to appear pathetic and show up dateless to the competiton, the diva asked TheUser to be her date. He held her hand and followed her around like a puppy the whole day and even got slightly jealous when she spoke to the ex. He told her she was too good for the guy and went a little beyond the criteria for fake date.

The First Kiss: At the after party for the skate competition TheUser had a little too much to drink. He followed the diva around the party and told her that he really liked her and was sorry that he was sometimes shy. He said she was the coolest girl at HC (a line that would be repeated time and time again, which made the diva foolishly believe he meant it). To shut him up the diva gave him a kiss, and they spent the night making out until he passed out on the couch whispering "you'll never know how much I love you BitchNichole"

It Became Official When...: It NEVER became official because every time that he told her he wanted to be her boyfriend there was always something in the way (i.e. she had a boyfriend, he had a girlfriend, she was moving to New York, he was working on his art).

The First I Love You: When the diva finally told TheUser that she loved him he was response was "you can't love because you need to have a heart to love and you don't have one. You're just looking for another story to put on your pretentious blog"

The Breakup: You can't break up with someone you never dated.

And to wrap up the lesson we'll end things with Wig.
How they met: The met at a Halloween party hosted by one of Athena's co-workers. The diva was dressed up as Candy Corn and he was "Guy in Wig". He followed her around the party and kept eating the tops off of the candy corn the diva was carrying around in a bucket. Every time that she would talk to other boys at the party Wig would find away to pull her back into a conversation with him.

The First Date: After the two realized that they both have a slightly unhealthy obsession with grilled cheese sandwiches they decided it would be a great idea to make grilled cheese their first date. They went to a diner ordered the favorite meal and went back to his apartment to watch The Office. Afterwards he walked her back to her apartment where he stood on the doorstep and complemented himself on being such a great date and recapped all the things he had done well. This made the diva laugh. She then went upstairs and called BitchParis to brag about the great guy she had just been out with.

The First Kiss: At the Halloween party the two wondered off by themselves to talk alone. Wig tried and failed several times on a first kiss. He gave up on getting a kiss from the diva, and seeing this the diva pulled his face to her's and locked lips. The making out continued until the diva needed to head home. She accidentally gave him her number and he called several times after she left. She woke up the next morning, picked up her phone, and texted "who calls at 4:00 in the morning? We've got to work on your game." He was pretty much smitten after that.

It Became Official When...: He took the diva to a park next to his apartment and they sat down on a bench where he asked if she would be his girlfriend. When she asked how that was different from what was going on then he said she had to share her fries, and they would have a face-to-face break up. She agreed and then they went to play on the slides.

The First I Love You: At ElleShoes birthday party the two were leaving the bar after a fun night of celebration. The diva was slightly tipsy and after some giggling and joking around the diva playfully hit Wig and said I love you realizing what she had just said she stopped and goes "no wait that's not how I meant it." Wig replied "I know its getting harder for me not to say it too." They then agreed that they were in love but wouldn't say it in front of anyone else, on AIM or the phone.

The Breakup: After a particularly rough week for the diva Wig did and said somethings that the diva did not feel were appropriate and despite the fact that she is very much in love with him realizes that they cannot be together at the present moment.