Lessons Learned: Reasons I'll Never Visit Chicago

As our heroine fast approaches her one-year anniversary of living in the city she has been doing a lot of reflecting.

This reflected with the fact that it has been a very slow day at the office has turned today into a "miss you" day that has led to the following apologies:

1. Sorry about putting you in a weird place with our status. I'm starting to realize that you probably felt pretty used the majority of the time that you weren't really with me.

2. I should have really paid more attention to spending time with your friends like that time that they asked if I wanted to watch Back to the Future and I kind of just made you drive me home without any explanation. Your house kind of smelled that day.

3. Sorry I made out with your best friend in front of your house. That seriously wasn't very cool on my part... you had a way hotter friend/roommate that I should have paid more attention to. (Seriously I was looking at pictures today... where was that guy the entire time?)

4. Sorry that I just came to your art show for the free food and wine, and that I totally snubbed your mom when she tried to talk to me. I forgot that you are adopted and she looks nothing like you. I am mean to strangers. She was standing in the way of the food.

5. Sorry for that phase where I would have strangers call your cell phone... it was seriously the funniest thing ever on this end. It would have been a lot funnier if you hadn't found out it was me.

Lessons Learned: With Every Broken Heart We Should Become More Adventurous

With the influx of broken hearts around them Athena and BitchNichole had had enough, so they decided to do the only thing they knew to get back at all the would-be adulterers, deportees, and smooth talkers: They threw a dinner party.

The guests will soon be arriving, but our heroine's signature Summer Lovin' Lemonade Cocktail, and Heavenly Brownie will be ready in less than an hour. Nothing says Temporary Fix like that brownie...

Lessons Learned: Shiney Objects

Things that are sad:
EnglishInterest is in London for three weeks.

Things that are happy:
Karate Kid III was on tv this afternoon!

Lessons Learned: My Love's Confusing, but it Never Gets Dull

Ways to tell I am stressed:

Last night BitchNichole had a dream that she was bidding a job, but instead or using money people from her past stood up and pointed out her flaws.

At one point TheUser stood up and said he was moving to New York.

Later one of BitchParis's ex's told the room our heroine has poor hygiene.

Long story short: the job was awarded, but the diva was left confused.

The night before she dreamed she was fight evil with a hamster and a rat... yeah she's ready for her vacation in October.

Lessons Learned: Went and Did You Wrong

BitchNichole just realized that although she has been recently voted as Nicest Smelling and Cuddliest on Facebook, her exboyfriend that she hates was listed as cutest.

Something is off in the universe.

Okay maybe hate is a strong word, but he's definitely not cuter than she.

Lessons Learned: Two of Us Together, But Only One of Us in Love

Today BitchNichole is all alone in her office space which means one thing: she controls the music.

So far she has listened to Easy Tiger 6 times through. She wonders how this would go over if anyone else were in here. The interns have stopped coming by to ask if she needs anything.

In Other News:

EnglishInterest got offered a job in the US. He leaves in 9 days and decides if he wants to come back.

BitchNichole has allowed herself to admit that she really likes him and was just afraid of getting hurt.

In Other Other News:

My life is a soap opera

Lessons Learned: I Gotta Halloween Head

Ahhh the combination of my two favorite things: Ryan Adams is playing a show on Halloween.

Lessons Learned: I Wanna Marry You All Over Again

Everytime BitchNichole watches MTV's "Engaged and Underaged" she secretly has a ministroke from a variety of factors. The first would be from picturing her life had she married they boy she dated when she was 18 (by this I mean before the days of TheHorse), TheFelon.

BitchNichole is no more ready to find the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with now, than she was then.

However if she does one day find the man that hold her attention for that long, there is one thing she knows for sure: when our heroine finds this special fella it will be a spur of the moment kind of deal. There will be no pictures and no guests. Absolutely nothing special will happen, and there will be no no special announcements. Most people may never find out.

And thus BitchNichole continues the search for the boy that is okay with this.

Lessons Learned: No Thanks

Next time I get my heart broken I will feel better knowing that it will never leave me as crazy as Claire Danes left Ben Lee:

Lessons Learned: Running as Fast as I Can

When BitchNichole and Athena went to the Ben Kweller show last week Benny said he was ready to let this song go. When Athena asked BitchNichole why she claimed "it makes perfect sense to me I don't like spaghetti either."

But BitchNichole does love some Benny:

Lessons Learned: Hobophobic

BitchNichole was sad when the homeless man she gives food to after work went MIA last month. Her imagination went into overdrive for a few days after he disappeared until she got distracted by more important things.

However with his reappearance yesterday BitchNichole was felt relief with a hint of frustration from wondering where the hell he'd been.

But today our diva could not believe her eyes as she walked down the stairs to the 6 train. There sat her vagabond friend, pulling a cell phone out of his pocket to receive a text message.

Wait, wait, wait. Was this the same man who carried signs asking for money to buy a hot dog because he "is completely alone... seriously." The diva stopped in her tracks, she had been had. How can someone that's all alone be receiving a text???

As the diva ran off to catch the approaching train she shook her head in hopes that he would sense her disappointment.

In Other News:

The Diva's crush of the week is approaching frustrating levels.

Lessons Learned: Yeah August 8th Came Right When It Should

So maybe there weren't any crying hippies, but there were a lot of problems with the subways.

BitchNichole's usual 45 minute commute stretched out over 3 hours when a little rain brought the subways of New York to a hault.

The diva contemplated walking the 60+ blocks to her place of employment, but after a mere 20 decided it best not to enter her office dripping sweat and smelling rank. Instead she jumped on the 1 that was running slowly at that point and headed the rest of the way to her office.

This heroic tale is only one-upped by her co-worker who walked 70+ blocks, half of which toting heavy rental equipment.

In Other News:

Something tells me you just like the drama...