Lessons Learned: I Fought the Law and I Think I Won
After leaving the office at approximately 6:35 Wednesday evening, frustrated from a client who kept refering to BitchNichole as "Kristen", the diva began her journey to her beloved A train, listening to a recently created playlist of New York music on her iPod. While bouncing along to Ben Kweller's "My Apartment" she bumped into a juvenile delinquent stuffing a stolen magazine under his shirt being chased by an angry store magazine. She quietly laughed to herself thinking about how much she loves New York.
She then entered the station and swiped her superpass metro card as she merrily made her way to the uptown train. As the train arrived something flew up from the infested tracks below and landed in her magnetic right eye (named so after getting sawdust, hot ash, and several unknown items stuck in it in the past). The eye immediately began to swell, burn, and emit mucus.
Distraught by her agony BitchNichole stuffed the metrocard in what she thought was her purse and entered the train where she cried for five minutes out of the right side of her face and removed her contact while several other A train patrons stared with delight. She exited the train at 175th St and ran the two blocks and four flights of stairs to the safety of her apartment.
This morning she groggily left the building having stayed up too late watching John Cussak movies and talking on the phone to a drunken MacchioBroker. When she arrived at the A station she noticed that the metrocard was MIA! To make matters worse all of the card dispensers were credit card only. She looked around for a few seconds and decided that there was only one was to get to work on time: she would need to break the law.
It was at this point that the sweaty distraught Welsh Goddess began approaching people in the station explaining that she would give them two dollars if she could get them to swipe her through. After approaching 5 to 10 busy Washington Heights residents who snubbed her off by saying "That's illegal!" a friendly gentleman took pitty on her and sold the diva his card for two dollars. She quickly swiped the product of the illegal transaction and ran onto the next A in the station.
Shortly after the train pulled out of the station it stopped due to "technical difficulties." BitchNichole thought to herself that this was just a ploy for the cops to catch up to her and her illegal transaction. The man sitting next to her exclaimed that he was going to be late for jury duty while the diva looked up at a sign explaining the wrongs of buying metrocards off of people in the subway stations and fidgitted nervously in her seat feeling the guilt of the criminal lifestyle she had recently embarked upon and began to imagine her life as a fugitive. Was two bucks really worth it?
The train rolled into motion yet again and she jumped off at 42nd Street and innocently strolled through the station careful not to make eye contact with any police officers. When she entered her office she confessed her criminal ways to PapaPhilley who took her later that day to buy a temporary replacement card.
As of now BitchNichole claims to have learned the lessons of her crime and has vowed to become a more law abiding citizen.
She then entered the station and swiped her superpass metro card as she merrily made her way to the uptown train. As the train arrived something flew up from the infested tracks below and landed in her magnetic right eye (named so after getting sawdust, hot ash, and several unknown items stuck in it in the past). The eye immediately began to swell, burn, and emit mucus.
Distraught by her agony BitchNichole stuffed the metrocard in what she thought was her purse and entered the train where she cried for five minutes out of the right side of her face and removed her contact while several other A train patrons stared with delight. She exited the train at 175th St and ran the two blocks and four flights of stairs to the safety of her apartment.
This morning she groggily left the building having stayed up too late watching John Cussak movies and talking on the phone to a drunken MacchioBroker. When she arrived at the A station she noticed that the metrocard was MIA! To make matters worse all of the card dispensers were credit card only. She looked around for a few seconds and decided that there was only one was to get to work on time: she would need to break the law.
It was at this point that the sweaty distraught Welsh Goddess began approaching people in the station explaining that she would give them two dollars if she could get them to swipe her through. After approaching 5 to 10 busy Washington Heights residents who snubbed her off by saying "That's illegal!" a friendly gentleman took pitty on her and sold the diva his card for two dollars. She quickly swiped the product of the illegal transaction and ran onto the next A in the station.
Shortly after the train pulled out of the station it stopped due to "technical difficulties." BitchNichole thought to herself that this was just a ploy for the cops to catch up to her and her illegal transaction. The man sitting next to her exclaimed that he was going to be late for jury duty while the diva looked up at a sign explaining the wrongs of buying metrocards off of people in the subway stations and fidgitted nervously in her seat feeling the guilt of the criminal lifestyle she had recently embarked upon and began to imagine her life as a fugitive. Was two bucks really worth it?
The train rolled into motion yet again and she jumped off at 42nd Street and innocently strolled through the station careful not to make eye contact with any police officers. When she entered her office she confessed her criminal ways to PapaPhilley who took her later that day to buy a temporary replacement card.
As of now BitchNichole claims to have learned the lessons of her crime and has vowed to become a more law abiding citizen.
posted by Welsh Girl at 11:31 AM
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