Lessons Learned: The Soundtrack of My Life

BitchNichole recently got in a big discussion with Mom40 about music and how it has influenced her life. Mom40 interupted the sermon by saying "I don't know how you guys got so obsessed with music. I never really paid attention to it. Did they teach you that in school?" (Later on that day she dropped the f-bomb on a lazy spud that charged her $15 which made the diva question what they really have in common at all but that's another story).

After spending a five hour drive analyzing her music taste BitchNichole has developed the following list of her music fave's and memories. So here it is

The Soundtrack to BitchNichole's Life:

Best Song Ever Written: Heroine - Lou Reed (she has been quoted as saying "I know what it's like to be a junky. Lou Reed's Heroine is my favorite song.")

Second Best Song Ever Written: Bonzo Goes to Blitzberg - The Ramones

Best Love Song: I'll Be Your Mirror - The Velvet Underground/The Glory of Love - Chicago

Best Break Up Song (sad): Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt

Best Break Up Song (angry): Why Bother - Weezer

Best Kick Your Ass Song (literally): Fist City - Loretta Lynn

Best Kick Your Ass Song (metaphorically): Let's Go - Trick Daddy

Song That Best Represents Me Now: The District Sleeps Alone Tonight - The Postal Service/ Okay I Believe You But My Tommy Gun Don't - Brand New/The Times They Are A Changin' - Bob Dylan

Song That Makes Me Cry Everytime I Hear It: Somewhere My Love/The Old Rugged Cross/Fighting It - Ben Folds

Song That Reminds Me of Mom40: Maps - The Yeah Yeah Yeah's/All Right Now - Free

Song That Reminds Me of Dad: Baby Girl - Sugarland

Song That Reminds Me of Athena: My Sweet Annette - The Driveby Truckers/I Need You Back - Ben Kweller

Song That Reminds Me of Shera: Just Rock and Roll - Midtown/Pacer - The Amps

Song That Reminds Me of My Grandparents: My Immortal - Evanescence/To Where You Are - Josh Groban

Song in My Head The First Time I Kissed TheHorse: The Origin of Love - Headwig (how very appropriate)

Song That Instantly Brightens My Mood: Anything by Goldfinger/Beautiful - The Go Go Go's

Best Walking Song: Wig Wam Bam - Sweet/L-L-Love - Astaire

Song I Listen to After I've Done Something Bad: Mr. Brightside - The Killers

Song I Listen to After I've Done Something Good: You Found Me - Kelly Clarkson

Song That Makes Me Want to Fall In Love: Let The Cool Goddess Rust Away - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah/First Day of My Life - Bright Eyes

Best Drinking Song: You're My Mate - Right Said Fred

Song That Reminds Me of E-Rick: I Got You Babe - Sonny and Cher (how many times?)

Song That Reminds Me of MyRyan: Anything Blink182 especially Please Take Me Home (oh that was one long fight)

Song That Reminds Me of Doogie: Doctor Jones - Aqua (when he thought he was cooler than me)

Song That Reminds Me of Highschool: Sex and Violence - The Exploited

So that's the list so far. Our heroine has a very eclectic taste in music. She knows many of you will be disappointed in her choices. But it's okay. She is aware that she has better taste than you.

Lessons Learned: My Mom's Cooler Than Your's

BitchNichole would like to send a shout out to the nation's newest pilot: Mom40!!! We never stopped believing in you oh sweet woman who birthed our heroine! You are truly an inspiration to me everyday! Thanks for being my role model/reality checker/best friend! You will never know how much you mean to me! And you said you couldn't do it ha!

Lessons Learned: Still Counting the Days I've Been Without You - A Trip Down Memory Lane

After the recent encounter with the JudgementalValentiner BitchNichole has been thinking a lot of ghosts of boyfriends past. After giving each one of her former likes plenty of thought our heroine has decided that being single rocks!

So as a mode of entertainment for those of you who lived who lived through 'em I present you The List of Exes:

1996 - OneEar: After seeing eachother at a neighbor's house he fell desperately in like with our heroine (that's right her skills started at an early age), however BitchNichole had decided she liked the single life at an early age and was angry that someone had given him her phone number. At the time she was cast in a summer theatre production of My Fair Lady and was way diggin' the show tunes. Athena strongly disliked this new hobby and told BitchNichole that if she agreed to date OneEar she could sing anything she wanted whenever. The diva agreed but after two days realized she would rather be single and show tune free.

1997 - TheatreGeek: She met him when she was cast as a flapper in Cabaret. They would eat dinner together every night. He often put his arm around her and touched her shoe which made her feel so cool. He gave our heroine her first ever kiss at the cast party in the Lawrence pool after spending the entire time carrying her around in the 3 feet.

1998 - TheSkater (aka TheGuyUnderTheDeck): She met him when he was skating outside of the library where she volunteered. After chilling together for awhile they realized they had taken an acting class together when they were 8. She fell hard for this one. The first time they kissed MyRyan was standing 3 feet away and though he'll deny it to this day she saw him cry that TheSkater had beaten her out on getting the girl. They broke up soon after her winter formal where she had taken MyRyan as her date instead. He is currently the only ex to be married. No one was more surprised than our heroine to hear this news.

1999 - TheSpook: Friend of TheSkater she had known him for awhile he wore way too much makeup and had nasty gunk that smelled like pineapple in his hair. She dated him because he claimed to be bisexual and she thought she was broadening her horizons. He currently designs professional wrestling costumes and has been featured on WWE.

2000 - TheEstonian: Oh yes this was a fun one! She liked him because he had an accent. But dumped him when he wanted things to get a bit too serious. They were very overly dramatic and often seen making out or fighting in the halls of B after school.

BadMusicTaste: They met the night that BitchNichole got fired from being a carhop. He immediately fell in love with her, they made out, he left for a summer in Germany they talked every day, and she dumped him when he got back. He is special because he was the first beau that our heroine ever cheated on. Cheating done at forensics camp with TheExtemper. They dated on and off for a year until he stopped her at the end of one date to say it was over and she agreed by replying "I really don't care if I never see you again." BadMusicTaste loved to make out to Jewel tunes and his mother hated our heroine. Needless to say it was over before it started.

ThePotHead: They met at the first B party BitchNichole ever attended. At one part of the night our heroine was holding hands with ThePotHead and his best friend at the same time trying to decide which one to make out with until the buddy went to play video games. They dated for a few months. It ended shortly after he forgot to buy her a birthday gift because he had purchased a $100 on her special day. Shortly after dating our diva he dated a girl with an abnormally large booty.

2001 - ComputerGeek (aka TheRichBoy): This was a fun one. He bought the diva several presents to win her heart. The first time she kissed him was so that he would shut up. She denied the relationship throughout it's entire course. It finally ended when he bought her tickets to a concert she didn't want to see. She told him her mother did not want her to go so he called Mom40 who knew nothing about the concert. When confronted she broke his heart. He is currently engaged to the girl he started dating two weeks after they broke up, but often complains that BitchNichole is the one that destroyed him for all others. Yeah that happens a lot.

2002 - TheFelon: Her first real love. They met at a dance club when partying with RockinKorean. He danced really well so she had to talk to him. After chillin for a few hours he admitted that he lived in a halfway house, was a recovering cocaine addict, and felon (yeah I know this sounds bad). He was a really honest to goodness cool guy that had had some bad luck in his past. This was the first (and only) real heartbreak the diva has ever encountered over a boy.

2003 - RaunchyRich (aka Homeless): She dated this one to get back in touch with her bad boy skater roots. He had terrible hygene and was just all together nasty. She sometimes sees him around H-town, but is just grossed out due to the fact that he is balding and greying. Yuck!

TheHorse: The latest flame. Oh he's a good enough guy. She tried and tried and finally won his heart and then broke it into a million little pieces because that's just the way she is. Think Steve on Sex and the City here.

Honararies
Kudla: Gotta love Kudla nobody can make BitchNichole feel more like everything than the messages he leaves her about her overwhelming greatness (she sincerely hopes he doesn't really love her). Good guy any girl would be lucky to have this one.

MacchioBroker: Come on he says they're soulmates.

MyRyan: Oh Hatfield how many times have we come way too close? I'm always in love with you.

TheTurk: What was she thinking?

TheExtemper: Enough said. No really he's a good guy.

TheUser: Yet again enough said.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO A SPECIAL LITTLE LADY

BitchNichole would like to propose a toast to her sista/agent/manager/therapist/reality checker/ partner-in-crime/ best friend/

HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY BABY!

The diva wishes she could be there to celebrate the special day.
Congratulations on making it to old.

Lessons Learned: Payback

Wow BitchNichole is so glad she and Rooms aren't best friends anymore. Now she can go and tell all her dirty little secrets!

Lessons Learned: Valentine's Day Takes an Early Start

Today BitchNichole ventured into one of her favorite Hastings shops. Once inside she immediately walked over to the cookbook section to begin browsing. Almost immediately one of the sales women approached her and announced that BitchNichole was "just the woman's I've been looking for."
Of course this made BitchNichole jump thinking that perhaps this woman had mistaken her for someone else, or was perhaps preparing to sell her something she did not need. The diva cautiously asked the woman what she needed.
"Well Valentine's Day is approaching and we're looking for women such as yourself to tell us they're favorite romantic date."
The diva quickly replied "um... mine's kind of stupid I don't think you want it."
"Oh come on the mushier the better" replied the sales woman.
BitchNichole then told the woman her favorite romantic date "My best date ever involved playing scrabble at a coffee shop."
The woman let out a little giggle until she realized that our heroine was serious. "Oh that's your favorite???"
The diva nodded and the woman pushed a notepad in her direction "Okay write it down I guess and then put your initials and how long you've been married."
"Oh I'm not married!!! Actually I hope to never be married"
The woman looked at BitchNichole obviously embarrassed because she had mistaken our heroine as something she was truly not and was getting a poor suggestion of romance from a single twenty-something.
On the way out of the store the diva thought to herself about romance and V-Day. She realized that this was the first V-Day she would be spending alone in three years and she has finally reached the age where society tells her this is wrong.
After spending a good 10 minutes feeling insulted at the way the woman had pushed her romantic leanings aside BitchNichole began plotting ways to find a Valentine that would enjoy an overdose of coffee and scrabble.
Presently she's thinking that her Valentine will either be her computer, Rooms, or that darn soulmate that the psychic told her about that has yet to show up.
The search continues.

Lessons Learned: I Done Got Used Again

It has recently come to the attention of BitchNichole that a certain fellow has used one conversation with the welsh goddess as an excuse to break another diva's heart.
When first informed of her injustice to another sista friend the diva was first outraged at her name being brought up as the homewrecker in the situation but later confused as to when this said conversation had actually taken place.
After searching her mind and diary for any life-changing conversations that had taken place with the gentleman in question the diva settled on one boring conversation that dealt with the question "Who's better Loretta Lynn or ACDC?"
The question itself has an easy answer and is in no way what the diva would consider life altering.
The diva was later quoted as saying "That's it! I'm done with these supposed sex scandles! Haven't you guys figured it out I'm super innocent*"

*Innocence proven by the fact that after five minutes of random staring thought the diva still cannot think of the last first kiss she shared with a boy. However now that she is single BitchNichole is determined to change this sad thought. It is technically Thursday now.

Lessons Learned: A No Show on Denver Idol Auditions

Yes that's right American Idol season 5 has officially begun. Because of this it is finally time to show the long awaited pictures from the Denver auditions.
For those of you have not yet had the pleasure of hearing this heroic tale in early October BitchNichole, Rooms, Dre3000 and Newbie traveled to the wonderous land of Denver in search of fame, Paula, Randy, and Simon.
Rooms made it to the second round of auditions and was quickly cut due to "lack of personality."
The judges and fans will all be disappointed as so many rejects often say when they "realize the star they just turned down.
The following is a photographic diary of the trip.
Thanks Denver and American Idol for all the memories.

The quartet arrived around 5:30 AM with electronic and board games in hand ready to stand in line for hours during their search for stardom.

They finally make it inside and prepare for orientation.

That night at ESPN Rooms and Dre3000 ponder the game...

... while BitchNichole wonders how football works. "Is this supposed to entertain me???"

A quick shopping break between rounds makes Dre3000 question his dedication to school.

Another early morning in line... ew... wait... what IS that SMELL???...

Oh it's nothing! They're just cleaning out the porto-potties.

BitchNichole prepares for a life as a groupie/bodyguard.

B-UNIT UNITE!!!

Rooms stands and sings on the field and makes it on to level two of auditions.

So the group may not have been pictured on the show which saved Rooms national embarrassment. But trips like these are what college is all about.

Lessons Learned: Dry Spell in Love Life Ends with Marriage Proposal

BitchNichole has recently been experiencing a lack of fun in the love department. After tossing TheHorse out of her apartment earlier in the day from feelings of suffocation she began recieving texts once again from her Philippino friend MacchioBroker.
He sent her messages of love claiming that he had spent the last few weeks thinking of nothing but our heroine and wished for nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with the welsh goddess. A little unkosher to propose over text message but then again the diva has had worse.
After losing five bucks at Keno Rooms and BitchNichole decided to cut there losses and play TheQuestionGame at home. While driving to Wal-Mart to get cheap wine for the game the diva's phone rang and it was her self-proclaimed soulmate, MacchioBroker in the mood for some lovin' (though since this phonecall took place before midnight central standard time it is difficult to determine whether or not this could indeed be considered a "booty call")
The diva answered and she was yet again asked for her hand in marriage. However this being the third no given for the night he claimed that he would first have to kiss the welsh goddess for a total of ten minutes before deciding that he did indeed wish to spend the rest of his life with her. This comment was backed up by thirty drunk men in the background that claimed that 10 minutes was a sufficient time to determine lifemate status.
While searching for wine Rooms and BitchNichole ran into Compliment the nextdoor neighbor of the divas making his first alcoholic purchase of his birthday. The divas invited the neighbor to play their game when they got home.
After the diva excused herself to the bathroom she convinced Compliment that he needed to play DDR.
She went to her apartment to retrieve the game, discovered that they both have the same lucky number and stayed up until 4 AM listening to music.
The diva determined that dispite his comments on the diva's diet and excersize plans and horrid taste in music Compliment seems to be a pretty cool guy.
The night ended with an awkward hug as the diva searched for her lost cell phone.