Lessons Learned: Still Counting the Days I've Been Without You - A Trip Down Memory Lane
After the recent encounter with the JudgementalValentiner BitchNichole has been thinking a lot of ghosts of boyfriends past. After giving each one of her former likes plenty of thought our heroine has decided that being single rocks!
So as a mode of entertainment for those of you who lived who lived through 'em I present you The List of Exes:
1996 - OneEar: After seeing eachother at a neighbor's house he fell desperately in like with our heroine (that's right her skills started at an early age), however BitchNichole had decided she liked the single life at an early age and was angry that someone had given him her phone number. At the time she was cast in a summer theatre production of My Fair Lady and was way diggin' the show tunes. Athena strongly disliked this new hobby and told BitchNichole that if she agreed to date OneEar she could sing anything she wanted whenever. The diva agreed but after two days realized she would rather be single and show tune free.
1997 - TheatreGeek: She met him when she was cast as a flapper in Cabaret. They would eat dinner together every night. He often put his arm around her and touched her shoe which made her feel so cool. He gave our heroine her first ever kiss at the cast party in the Lawrence pool after spending the entire time carrying her around in the 3 feet.
1998 - TheSkater (aka TheGuyUnderTheDeck): She met him when he was skating outside of the library where she volunteered. After chilling together for awhile they realized they had taken an acting class together when they were 8. She fell hard for this one. The first time they kissed MyRyan was standing 3 feet away and though he'll deny it to this day she saw him cry that TheSkater had beaten her out on getting the girl. They broke up soon after her winter formal where she had taken MyRyan as her date instead. He is currently the only ex to be married. No one was more surprised than our heroine to hear this news.
1999 - TheSpook: Friend of TheSkater she had known him for awhile he wore way too much makeup and had nasty gunk that smelled like pineapple in his hair. She dated him because he claimed to be bisexual and she thought she was broadening her horizons. He currently designs professional wrestling costumes and has been featured on WWE.
2000 - TheEstonian: Oh yes this was a fun one! She liked him because he had an accent. But dumped him when he wanted things to get a bit too serious. They were very overly dramatic and often seen making out or fighting in the halls of B after school.
BadMusicTaste: They met the night that BitchNichole got fired from being a carhop. He immediately fell in love with her, they made out, he left for a summer in Germany they talked every day, and she dumped him when he got back. He is special because he was the first beau that our heroine ever cheated on. Cheating done at forensics camp with TheExtemper. They dated on and off for a year until he stopped her at the end of one date to say it was over and she agreed by replying "I really don't care if I never see you again." BadMusicTaste loved to make out to Jewel tunes and his mother hated our heroine. Needless to say it was over before it started.
ThePotHead: They met at the first B party BitchNichole ever attended. At one part of the night our heroine was holding hands with ThePotHead and his best friend at the same time trying to decide which one to make out with until the buddy went to play video games. They dated for a few months. It ended shortly after he forgot to buy her a birthday gift because he had purchased a $100 on her special day. Shortly after dating our diva he dated a girl with an abnormally large booty.
2001 - ComputerGeek (aka TheRichBoy): This was a fun one. He bought the diva several presents to win her heart. The first time she kissed him was so that he would shut up. She denied the relationship throughout it's entire course. It finally ended when he bought her tickets to a concert she didn't want to see. She told him her mother did not want her to go so he called Mom40 who knew nothing about the concert. When confronted she broke his heart. He is currently engaged to the girl he started dating two weeks after they broke up, but often complains that BitchNichole is the one that destroyed him for all others. Yeah that happens a lot.
2002 - TheFelon: Her first real love. They met at a dance club when partying with RockinKorean. He danced really well so she had to talk to him. After chillin for a few hours he admitted that he lived in a halfway house, was a recovering cocaine addict, and felon (yeah I know this sounds bad). He was a really honest to goodness cool guy that had had some bad luck in his past. This was the first (and only) real heartbreak the diva has ever encountered over a boy.
2003 - RaunchyRich (aka Homeless): She dated this one to get back in touch with her bad boy skater roots. He had terrible hygene and was just all together nasty. She sometimes sees him around H-town, but is just grossed out due to the fact that he is balding and greying. Yuck!
TheHorse: The latest flame. Oh he's a good enough guy. She tried and tried and finally won his heart and then broke it into a million little pieces because that's just the way she is. Think Steve on Sex and the City here.
Honararies
Kudla: Gotta love Kudla nobody can make BitchNichole feel more like everything than the messages he leaves her about her overwhelming greatness (she sincerely hopes he doesn't really love her). Good guy any girl would be lucky to have this one.
MacchioBroker: Come on he says they're soulmates.
MyRyan: Oh Hatfield how many times have we come way too close? I'm always in love with you.
TheTurk: What was she thinking?
TheExtemper: Enough said. No really he's a good guy.
TheUser: Yet again enough said.
So as a mode of entertainment for those of you who lived who lived through 'em I present you The List of Exes:
1996 - OneEar: After seeing eachother at a neighbor's house he fell desperately in like with our heroine (that's right her skills started at an early age), however BitchNichole had decided she liked the single life at an early age and was angry that someone had given him her phone number. At the time she was cast in a summer theatre production of My Fair Lady and was way diggin' the show tunes. Athena strongly disliked this new hobby and told BitchNichole that if she agreed to date OneEar she could sing anything she wanted whenever. The diva agreed but after two days realized she would rather be single and show tune free.
1997 - TheatreGeek: She met him when she was cast as a flapper in Cabaret. They would eat dinner together every night. He often put his arm around her and touched her shoe which made her feel so cool. He gave our heroine her first ever kiss at the cast party in the Lawrence pool after spending the entire time carrying her around in the 3 feet.
1998 - TheSkater (aka TheGuyUnderTheDeck): She met him when he was skating outside of the library where she volunteered. After chilling together for awhile they realized they had taken an acting class together when they were 8. She fell hard for this one. The first time they kissed MyRyan was standing 3 feet away and though he'll deny it to this day she saw him cry that TheSkater had beaten her out on getting the girl. They broke up soon after her winter formal where she had taken MyRyan as her date instead. He is currently the only ex to be married. No one was more surprised than our heroine to hear this news.
1999 - TheSpook: Friend of TheSkater she had known him for awhile he wore way too much makeup and had nasty gunk that smelled like pineapple in his hair. She dated him because he claimed to be bisexual and she thought she was broadening her horizons. He currently designs professional wrestling costumes and has been featured on WWE.
2000 - TheEstonian: Oh yes this was a fun one! She liked him because he had an accent. But dumped him when he wanted things to get a bit too serious. They were very overly dramatic and often seen making out or fighting in the halls of B after school.
BadMusicTaste: They met the night that BitchNichole got fired from being a carhop. He immediately fell in love with her, they made out, he left for a summer in Germany they talked every day, and she dumped him when he got back. He is special because he was the first beau that our heroine ever cheated on. Cheating done at forensics camp with TheExtemper. They dated on and off for a year until he stopped her at the end of one date to say it was over and she agreed by replying "I really don't care if I never see you again." BadMusicTaste loved to make out to Jewel tunes and his mother hated our heroine. Needless to say it was over before it started.
ThePotHead: They met at the first B party BitchNichole ever attended. At one part of the night our heroine was holding hands with ThePotHead and his best friend at the same time trying to decide which one to make out with until the buddy went to play video games. They dated for a few months. It ended shortly after he forgot to buy her a birthday gift because he had purchased a $100 on her special day. Shortly after dating our diva he dated a girl with an abnormally large booty.
2001 - ComputerGeek (aka TheRichBoy): This was a fun one. He bought the diva several presents to win her heart. The first time she kissed him was so that he would shut up. She denied the relationship throughout it's entire course. It finally ended when he bought her tickets to a concert she didn't want to see. She told him her mother did not want her to go so he called Mom40 who knew nothing about the concert. When confronted she broke his heart. He is currently engaged to the girl he started dating two weeks after they broke up, but often complains that BitchNichole is the one that destroyed him for all others. Yeah that happens a lot.
2002 - TheFelon: Her first real love. They met at a dance club when partying with RockinKorean. He danced really well so she had to talk to him. After chillin for a few hours he admitted that he lived in a halfway house, was a recovering cocaine addict, and felon (yeah I know this sounds bad). He was a really honest to goodness cool guy that had had some bad luck in his past. This was the first (and only) real heartbreak the diva has ever encountered over a boy.
2003 - RaunchyRich (aka Homeless): She dated this one to get back in touch with her bad boy skater roots. He had terrible hygene and was just all together nasty. She sometimes sees him around H-town, but is just grossed out due to the fact that he is balding and greying. Yuck!
TheHorse: The latest flame. Oh he's a good enough guy. She tried and tried and finally won his heart and then broke it into a million little pieces because that's just the way she is. Think Steve on Sex and the City here.
Honararies
Kudla: Gotta love Kudla nobody can make BitchNichole feel more like everything than the messages he leaves her about her overwhelming greatness (she sincerely hopes he doesn't really love her). Good guy any girl would be lucky to have this one.
MacchioBroker: Come on he says they're soulmates.
MyRyan: Oh Hatfield how many times have we come way too close? I'm always in love with you.
TheTurk: What was she thinking?
TheExtemper: Enough said. No really he's a good guy.
TheUser: Yet again enough said.
posted by Welsh Girl at 9:49 PM
2 Comments:
I didn't really need to know all of this!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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