Thursday, February 09, 2006

Lessons Learned: Unregrettable Anniversaries

"It's my anniversary I'm not making any apologies"

BitchNichole's one-year-of-blogging-anniversary is rapidly approaching and she is ready for a celebration!
However, along with this special occasion has come a bit of controversy of the offensiveness of her beloved online venting mechanism. Since a certain individual seems to be seeking out ways to get offended BitchNichole will offer the following list of "Bloggable Offenses." So for all of the featured players and attention seekers here's a list of things that are almost gaurenteed to get you a post:

1. ANYTIME Mom40 uses the F-Bomb (i.e. the time that Mom40 used it in reference to the LazySpud that charged her $15, the time she couldn't get the car wash to work).

2. Nights at TheShack and anything that occurs while there.

3. Any encounters with exboyfriends

4. Any fights that occur with the diva (both verbal or physical).

5. Any birthday or celebrations that occur as a result.

6. Any hookups with random men (i.e. hot bartenders).

7. Anytime some individual screws the diva out of something (i.e sleep or otherwise).

8. Any awkward encounters with strangers (humans or dogs that bite her on the way back to her apartment).

9. Anytime an individual breaks the diva's heart.

10. Any apologies for her behavior after having one-too-many Malibu and Pineapples.

11. Any obscene phone calls from boys that "came home from school early."

12. Pictures such as this are likely to find themselves on the blog. See everyone looks like a fool.

This is just a short list of what could possibly be posted. For those players that are easily offended BitchNichole offers the following advice:

1. Stop committing bloggable offenses.
2. Stop chilling with the diva.
or the easiest:
3. Quit reading the blog. Really it's not that hard the diva herself has given up on several blogs due to their offensiveness.

The diva promises all her loyal readers another year of enterrtaining reading.

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