Lessons Learned: My New Crushes (Jonathan and Ryan Edition)

Oh Jonathan Ames I Dig You More Than You Know. I seriously want to make out with you. Unfortunately you are 20 years my senior and something tells me that might kind of gross you out a bit, but your sordid past of tranny-love makes me think I still have a chance.

Ryan Adams, you only have 10 years on me which makes us pretty much perfect for each other. I'm way digging on you. I am attracted to your heart break. You had me with the harmonica and won me over with the lyrics. Let's make out.